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brightbots and pottys

finally given in and am now potty training Violet! We’d been waiting for some magic sign that she was ready, but nothing, so thought we’d try it out and see how she got on. We got her a potty for Christmas, I know what a crap mum I am, and for a couple of weeks and been popping her on it at nappy changes bribing her to stay on with stickers she could put on a bit of card in the kitchen.  And all of a sudden she just got it! I think the massive song and dance we made about her weeing on it was enough to encourage her to continue, and well, she *loves* stickers.

It’s quite difficult with a child that can’t really talk, to know when they need to go, so we left the potty where she could go and get it herself, seems to be working well currently. And then we found that she was forgetting while still just in terry nappies, she still doesn’t seem to care about running round in damp pants, so I got her some funky purple brightbots trainer pants. She loves purple and so Ihoped that would be enough inspiration to not wet them.
They are awesome! they look mainly like ordinary pants, but have more layers round the gusset. The reviews I have read of them in other places have complained that they don’t hold enough wee, which is a fair point, I think they’re mainly aimed at kids who are pretty much trained but may have the odd accident. So what we’ve done to combat this is to add a bamboo liner which soaks up most of it when she forgets she needs to go.
We did have to buy some disposable trainer pants, for when Violet is at nursery mainly. They’re ok,they soak up as much as an ordinary disposable nappy does, in fact with the exception of the pull-off-and-on-ability they are pretty much the same as a dispo. I can see that for many people this is a real plus point, especially when first beginning potty training and there are many accidents. I think that’s a bad thing though, half the battle for us was getting her to be aware of what was going on, and all the wetness being comfortably locked away doesn’t help. We did try adding a bamboo liner so she’d feel it but they made the already fairly bulky nappy huge! So for us adding that extra soaker into the trainer pant is perfect, it means she gets to enjoy wearing funky coloured pants, she cares about them going in the wash and doesn’t want to wet them.
And well, both girls have been cloth bummed so being able to have cloth trainer pants is really good, I hate the thought of filling so much landfill unnecessarily.
In conclusion – Brightbots rock!

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2 months old!

October 15, 2009 Leave a comment

15/10/2009·public·194 visits · notify me ?

Ivy is 2 whole months old today! She’s been weighed and has reached a grand 2lb 13! So officially more than violet did when she was born, which is sort of a milestone in itself 🙂 and considering she’s been nil by mouth for a week, and while back on tpn no fats with it cos of all the antibiotics and blood products! Her infection markers have come all the way down to 7 so nearly clear of this bug and all ready for her travels. There was briefly a cot yesterday, but it got filled quickly. So they’re still phoning every few hours. I suppose i’ve spent most of the year expecting to spend october poised and ready to get to hospital quickly, with bags packed and babysitters on stand-by. So I shouldn’t complain too much, we’ve been assured they wont keep us in bristol long as the demand for cots is so high. Fingers crossed! Anyway I hope all you lovely ladies are keeping well! Thanks for all your lovely comments to my previous journals, wish I had more time to reply to you all, y’all rock! Xxx

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

See previous titles

October 14, 2009 Leave a comment

14/10/2009·public·133 visits · notify me ?

Yup we’re still in sunny Cornwall, for the time being.So thought I’d pop up here and say hi!

After all I was saying about giving blood the other day; I had blood taken yesterday by one of the neonatal drs, they did it with a butterfly thing instead of the usual vacuum things the midwives use. Sorry that’s less than clear huh? And for the first time ever I came over all wooshy as it was being done! I’ve never fainted or anything when having blood taken before, even after Violet was born when they took my blood every few hours cos of the pre-eclampsia!! Nuts! Maybe it was the watching it go down the tube…who knows!

Things are tootling along here, still not sure what’s happening re: Bristol. Ivy’s infection markers have come down, everything else seems stable, we got to have a cuddle last night too! They’ve had to put another long line in, poor chick, they had such trouble getting one in her arm, and she had cannulas in both legs at the time, so sh’es had to have it through a vein in her scalp. It sounds much worse than it is to be honest! At least in her scalp she can still swing her arms about, which she seems to enjoy, and she can’t pull on it, which has to be uncomfortable. And if the infection passes, which it looks like it is, then she can go back onto milk and it can come out again.

It’s been a tough week, hopefully we’re past the worst now. Glad that today, so far, there’s not been any phone calls. Of course it’s lovely that our families take an interest in it all, bless them. I try and keep them updated by text and, sadly, by facebook *ahem* and naturally if there was any important news I’d phone them all. But they all phone, inevitably all on the same day, and it’s tiring. I feel like I need to adjust everything I say according to how they’re taking it; when I said to my dad’s wife today that we’re still here, she started gushing about how wonderful news that was, hooray how fabulous, etc. It thoroughly confused me, I don’t know if she picked me up wrong, we are still going to Bristol, just not today….. And when I told gran that Ivy had another infection the other day she came rushing over and hovered at me. It’s tough, I don’t want to worry family unnecessarily, but I don’t want them thinking everything is just shiny either! When Violet was in hospital it was easier to let everyone believe everything was dandy, and largely everything was mainly ok, but I feel I need them to be aware of how much more delicate Ivy is. Even if just to stop them asking me when she’s coming home, which I imagine is as annoying as the questions all you pregnant ladies get ‘when is that baby coming?’ ‘haven’t you had that baby yet?’ I remember my mum getting really annoyed and telling people that in fact yes, the baby was here and she was pregnant again already. And offering people photos to save them staring…..Anyway, doesn’t really work for me. Must think of something witty.

Also I don’t want them thinking all is well cos they keep buying Ivy things, and I find it really hard to take. I’m still scared she’s not here to stay, I can’t imagine bringing her home, every time I start enjoying her something knocks us back. I have a few photos about but everything else gets put away, I don’t want to see these reminders everywhere that my baby isnt with me, even when it’s going well really. It’s lovely that they’re excited about having a new addition to the family, but in many ways I’m trying to treat it like I’m still pregnant, but the fact that she’s not home doesn’t have any impact on them, we have to live in it. I wish they’d give us the space to come to them to tell them things rather than phoning demanding all the time, I don’t have the energy for it. And the recurrence of PMT and the witch does not help any!

Wow that all turned out to be much more miserable than I had intended! Sorry! Ark at me all maudlin, when today actually things are going well. Meh. Must tidy the kitchen and phone up to see how my little chick is getting on, hooray! 😀

pixiejo · you!
Updated 14/10/2009

Bless you lovely! I should really only post journals after I’ve visited Ivy, when my sun is shining 😀 ((((big hugs)))) Thanks for your lovely message chick!

There’s also an element of excitement to the not being able to imagine her coming home though, if that makes any sense?! I know her coming home is going to change everything about all of our lives unrecognisably and I just can’t imagine it, but I am looking forward to finding out. 🙂 And yeah in my more maudlin moments like earlier, I can’t imagine her coming home and I don’t want to try and picture it just in case she doesn’t. But I try not to think about it too much, to be honest I couldn’t picture Violet coming home either, and she’s been here for 2 years and now I can’t imagine there ever being a time when she was not here!!

Sometimes it is easier to give people the answer they want to hear when they ask how things are isnt it?! Bless you you’ve not had an easy pregnancy, I’m sure you must be sick to the back teeth of people saying stupid things like ‘oh you’ll be blooming soon’  so I’ll refrain 🙂 Take care lovely xxxx

Jo x

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

Do I do anything but rant really?

October 7, 2009 Leave a comment

7/10/2009·public·184 visits · notify me ?

Hahaha! Well my hubby may be right all I do is rant, so please ladies excuse yet another rant taking up space on the right of your page! I rant in this journal too much I konw, but well, Violet doesn’t listen she just gets me to pretend to drink from her tea set, bless!!!

Anyway, Martin and Violet are ill again. As if I don’t spend enough of my time paranoid about getting poorly, now I’m living in a housefull of it! They have colds this time, and while I keep having paranoid flashes that my throat os sore or my nose is running I am actually fine so far. Drinkings lots of OJ and water and telling myself that I simply cannot get this frigging cold!

I am so mightily p*ssed off about it! My bro and family popped in to see us on their way back from holiday, see we’d given them the hol as a wedding present. We’d originally booked it for ourselves back before I knew I was pregnant and had been told by the midwife we’d not be able to go. They’d been skint when we got married in March and so had decided to buy us a week at the same place this time next year as a belated wedding gift, and they wanted to surprise us with the details. Bless them how sweet is that!!! So it may seem awfully surprising and ungrateful to start this with I’m so p*ssed off BUT…..their little girl had been as they put it ‘husky’ most of the week and they thought perhaps she may be coming down with a cold. And lo and behold here we all are 5 days later V and DH sniffling, coughing and snotting everywhere and so are they!

Yeah colds happen, I know we can’t lock ourselves away for the next year. BUT Why don’t they understand, even after Ivy’s last infection and how I ranted about it, that what is ‘just a cold’ for most folk, is a nightmare for us as we’re all stressed, not sleeping or eating properly and means we can’t visit are much poorlier little chick?!? And that most importantly it could be utterly catastrophic if we accidentally did take it into the hospital!!!! Why don’t they get it? Why when I rant about people coming round when they’re poorly does everyone think I’m talking about everyone apart from them? It’s not like they tell me on the door either, no. they wait until they’ve been here for half an hour playing with Violet and all her toys, “oh we think ..x… has got a sore throat” I’m fucking sick of being told that they’re sorry. It’s really driving me bonkers! I really feel like I’m banging my head on a brick wall. Surely to F-ing god this isnt unreasonable of me to ask people to not bring their ill kids to my house?I mean this was why we stopped Violet being babysat, after the nits and the hideous tummy bug in a fortnight it just seemed more trouble than it was worth. I really don’t get why my family thought it would be better to still take V and look after her when they’re poorly and send her ill back to my house? I know they’re trying to help and I don’t want to be awfully ungrateful, I konw they are trying. But really in what exact way is that any help to me at all!? Why can’t anybody just offer to do my sodding hoovering that would’#ve been much more helpful!

And cos V is still ill I’ve had to pull out of her speech therapy tomorrow too, I don’t want her either passing it round everyone else, that doesn’t seem fair! And I don’t want her picking up something else while her immune system is low.

Just hope everyone else feels better soon and that I don’t catch it! I’m only able to visit Ivy for half an hour a day at the moment while M and V wait in the car, and then I’m tooscared to hold her just in case I’ve brought the vile bug in. It just fucking sucks. Stoopid people.

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

The feeding question

October 5, 2009 Leave a comment

5/10/2009·public·173 visits · notify me ?

I am mainly noting all these thoughts here so I can refer back to it when I get questioned on my choices and inevitably when I worry that I have made the wrong decision 🙂

After much discussion with DH we decided that Ivy will be a bottle fed baby. Don’t get me wrong I really, really wanted to breast feed Ivy, same as I really, really wanted to breastfeed Violet but looking at it practically and pragmatically I don’t think it’s going to be the best course of action for us as a family. Yes breastfeeding when we get home would be wonderful and much easier, no sterilising, little Ivy burning off at least 500 of my calories every day, not having to get up and wander about making up bottles in the middle of the night…..but it’s not as simple as that. I so wanted to be the happy hippy mum, and I thought that as my mum had had 6 of us with no troubles and breast fed and cloth bummed us all that I would be able to. I never questioned it to be honest. And well NNU has got to be the least hippy place in the whole damn world!

If I want to breast feed Ivy, then I will need to be there for more than one feed a day, every day once she starts rooting around looking for milk. (which she already is!) Of course I would LOVE to be there all day and night for her, but it’s simply not possible, even if we went back to having Violet babysat a lot, all our babysitters work – some during the day and some at night, either way making them unavailable to look after Violet during the day. And the hospital is too far away to nip back and forth for feeds. Initially I thought, well we can sort that out when I room in just before discharge, and I know that many mums manage just with that. But it didn’t work with Violet, I roomed in for a fortnight trying to get her to breastfeed at every feed and she was having none of it! Not once, and we had lots of help from breastfeeding experts and nurses and everyone, Violet simply was not going to breastfeed. We don’t have the luxury of that amount of time this time, even if DH could get that amount of time off work to look after Violet, we don’t want to use it all before Ivy comes home.

I know it sounds selfish but I don’t want to delay Ivy’s discharge for the sake of feeding in the way Violets was delayed. Violet could have come home nearly a fortnight before she did. If all else is fine then I want Ivy home, obviously!

And most importantly I suppose, my let down reflex has pretty much gone, and as my previous journals attest, my periods are back, 😦 I want to make this decision before my body takes the option away from me, which it looks like it’s going to. It’s certainly exactly how it all happened last time, once the let-down reflex had gone my supply never recovered, not with all the fenugreek in the world! And yes I know that skin to skin contact and attempting to breastfeed can bring it back and do magic things, but that takes me back to the time issue, when?

I am trying to console myself with the fact that she has only had my milk for her first 2 months; and there are 3 shelves full of frozen milk at her disposal too. As well as anything else I can get frozen in the meantime. It seems to matter so much right now, and it seemed to matter even more when Violet was tiny, but I realise now Violet’s a toddler, that in the long run, it doesn’t matter! She won’t remember or think badly of me whatever way I feed her, so long as I do. I have just called up for my morning update too, Ivy’s on 2 hourly feeds at the moment and was rooting around for milk this morning, so one of the lovely nurses (in fact the same lady who helped out when I caved and gave Violet a bottle!) offered Ivy a bottle, she had half of her feed from it! Awesome for a first go! I feel so much better that Ivy can get a bit of practice feeding while I’m not there, for even if my visit coincides with her feeds, she is often still sleeping and so it’ll all go down the tube. Who knows how long it would’ve been before she’d have had a shot at boob? So, another babystep closer to home 🙂

Baby’s really do enjoy messing with all your well thought out and laid down plans don’t they? Mine certainly do!

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

addendum : not to be outdone by Ivy

September 28, 2009 Leave a comment

When we visit the hospital Violet normally comes with us (as we have various spoiling issues with babysitters, long dull story for another journal rant no doubt!) We all go into say hello to Ivy, then DH takes V out into the waiting room to play with the bead thingys and run about daft! Normally she has a great time!

On Saturday I’d had time to change Ivy’s nappy, they’d only been outside about 10 minutes when I thought I could hear Violet in the corridor, and bless her there she was covered in blood with all the nurses fussing around her trying to clean her up! She’d fallen so hard onto the curved edge of the bead table she’d split the skin just below her eyebrow. So off to casualty for us. On a saturday night. Standing room only; even with a nurse phoning ahead for us it was still a 3 hour wait!!!

While we were sitting trying to stop Violet touching the cut, trying to stop her running off and trying to stop her dripping blood everywhere, when one of the neonatal nurses appeared out of the crowd. Bless her she’d phoned the only other casualty department in Cornwall to see if they were as busy, and hit on the genius idea of the Minor Injuries unit at our local hospital. When we got there we were the only people in the waiting room, the triage nurse had clearly been so busy that evening she was in painting overalls, repainting the children’s room! We were in, out, superglued and lollipopped within half an hour! So Violet was home in time for bed instead of still being sat in hospital at midnight. 😀

Minor Injuries Unit = genius.

And at both visits to Ivy yesterday and every time we’ve phoned bless them, all the nurses have been asking after Violet. I guess they don’t stop being one of their babies just because they’re  discharged, aren’t they lovely?! My girls are lucky to have such lovely aunties!

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

so I’ve finally been discharged, Ivy is 3 weeks old!

September 5, 2009 Leave a comment

5/09/2009·public·352 visits · notify me ?

For the difference it makes to be discharged, I’m in hospital every day anyway, just now I only have to visit one ward rather than 2!

I think I may have overdone it though, as Violet has been off with various babysitters she’s caught nits, just what we need right now! So I spent yesterday nit-combing a 2 year old, I’m sure you can all imagine how much fun that was. But because she was off staying at my bro’s last night I didn’t want to send her with the dreaded bugs just in case she hadn’t caught it from them, so I had to stomp all the way into town to buy the treatment stuff, which was probably silly seeing as I’m not meant to be pushing her anywhere right now, and then had to lift her in and out of the bath. But it had to be done. Only now I’m bleeding again, which I’m fairly sure I’m not meant to….and cos I’ve finally been discharged I don’t have any of the relevant phone numbers to see if it’s something to worry about….but at least I’m going back to the hospital this afternoon anyway. Sure it’s fine. Right?

Ivy is still pootl;ing along nicely, slow and steady. They have started weighing her, she did lose weight down to 1lb 6 so they started giving her fat (lipid) in her drip and she’s back up to 1lb7. And shes’ started to have some milk, just half a mil every 3 hours, and it’s still blowing her up like a balloon! She seems to have gone on poo strike again so they’re testing her for cystic fibrosis in case that’s whats causing it; but at least the lack of poo has meant they can get all the wee samples they need to find out whats causing her grey jaundice. She’s much more active and awake now which is lovely, her little mouth seems to constantly be on the search for food, and she’s having great fun removing her tubes and pulling off her CPAP. So while they say that she’s having 3 hours off breathing by herself every 6 hours, she’s actually having more cos she keeps pulling all the pipes off! When we arrived the other night she was chewing on them!

Anyway the phone is ringing again. It rings every 20minutes all morning, for the first week I panicked every time as I thought it was the hospital and would run for it. But it would seem that most of the family want daily bloody updates, despite my assurances that we woudl call if there was any news and that I am really busy expressing and dealing with Violet and being bloody knackered. So I’m call screening. Oh for a ringer off switch. I should at least 1471 tho….Hope everyone is well!!! xxxxx

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html