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Posts Tagged ‘panic’

aaaah swearing, lots of swearing!!!!!

October 9, 2009 Leave a comment

9/10/2009·public·208 visits · notify me ?

gah what a super lame day! Yesterday I hovered over the phone and while it rang repeatedly, it wasn’t the hospital once. We’re all packed, all our babysitters are poised and ready, well as ready as this lot will ever get anyway!

I was updated by doctors, they hope it’s just a plug of meconium still; not completely blocking the intestines, but blocking it enough to fill her with gas and make her uncomfortable. So the plan of action would be to do a more specialised enema in the hope of osftening it and removing it. Sorry that’s probably TMI, but still. And obviously if that doesn’t solve it then surgery would be necessary, initially as investigation so we’d have to be in Bristol for that anyway.

Today I got to spend most of the day in the hospital; this morning they said that we would probably be heading for Bristol tomorrow asthey were looking to discharge someone tomorrow morning. But they had raised suspicions of another infection at the ward round and over the course of the day my poor little chick has become rather poorly again and this evening she has been moved back into intensive care. Again. THis morning as well as her distended tum and water retention, they thought they heard a crackly chest, then her blood sugar started to rise, and she started getting cold. By the time the confirmation came through with her CRP getting higher they had already put her nil by mouth and back on antibiotics. They think the infection is the same as last time, and quite probably caused by whatever is making her belly distended so they’re using the same antibiotics as before. Of course I dread that it’s something that we’ve taken in accidentally and given her.

They will still move her even with the infection, if she stays stable overnight, but when I phoned last they had had to give her pain medication as she keeps having braddies; so they’re assuming she’s in pain.so it looks like it’ll all be delayed. definately still goin, just probably not tomorrow.

And there’s no room in the hospital for us as they have quite a few out of counties, so we’d need to find our own place to stay.

I just want to go and get it over with, deal with whatever it brings and move on instead of being in this hideous limbo land waiting for the phone to ring, piosed to drop everything and go. As if merely having a baby in the NNU wasn’t limbo land enough, no longer pregnant – but no baby with you so not really a mum either. Just a ridculously regular visitor to the hospital sitting by a perspex box, hoping.

I’m so scared, and so tired of being scared all the fucking time. It just seems all so fucking unfair. I just hate having to watch her fight and fight always being so scared that this will be one fight too many. I hate leaving every night worried that this will be the last time I see her. I hate not being able to be there for more than a couple of short hours that fly by too quickly, I just wanted it all to be dull and normal and boring, why was boring too much to ask?

So maybe I’ll be able to update tomorrow, maybe we’ll be250 miles away from here

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

Ivy is off to bristol

October 7, 2009 Leave a comment

7/10/2009·public·347 visits · notify me ?

Well not quite yet, but as soon as a non-emergency bed and the fancy ambulance team are ready then she’s off 😦 could be tomorrow, more likely a few days though. She has to have investigative tests to see why her belly keeps blowing up. Hopefully it’ll be something that will self correct and we’ll only be there a few days, but there’s a chance she could need surgery, hard to know when they don’t know what’s causing it! Apart from that she’s well, her and the baby in the bed next to her both span 180 degrees today, don’t know how, why or if they discussed it first just to freak the nurse out…. Anyway I must pack violet’s bags ready to go at short notice and get a washing on, thought maybe typing it out would help me digest it.

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

Do I do anything but rant really?

October 7, 2009 Leave a comment

7/10/2009·public·184 visits · notify me ?

Hahaha! Well my hubby may be right all I do is rant, so please ladies excuse yet another rant taking up space on the right of your page! I rant in this journal too much I konw, but well, Violet doesn’t listen she just gets me to pretend to drink from her tea set, bless!!!

Anyway, Martin and Violet are ill again. As if I don’t spend enough of my time paranoid about getting poorly, now I’m living in a housefull of it! They have colds this time, and while I keep having paranoid flashes that my throat os sore or my nose is running I am actually fine so far. Drinkings lots of OJ and water and telling myself that I simply cannot get this frigging cold!

I am so mightily p*ssed off about it! My bro and family popped in to see us on their way back from holiday, see we’d given them the hol as a wedding present. We’d originally booked it for ourselves back before I knew I was pregnant and had been told by the midwife we’d not be able to go. They’d been skint when we got married in March and so had decided to buy us a week at the same place this time next year as a belated wedding gift, and they wanted to surprise us with the details. Bless them how sweet is that!!! So it may seem awfully surprising and ungrateful to start this with I’m so p*ssed off BUT…..their little girl had been as they put it ‘husky’ most of the week and they thought perhaps she may be coming down with a cold. And lo and behold here we all are 5 days later V and DH sniffling, coughing and snotting everywhere and so are they!

Yeah colds happen, I know we can’t lock ourselves away for the next year. BUT Why don’t they understand, even after Ivy’s last infection and how I ranted about it, that what is ‘just a cold’ for most folk, is a nightmare for us as we’re all stressed, not sleeping or eating properly and means we can’t visit are much poorlier little chick?!? And that most importantly it could be utterly catastrophic if we accidentally did take it into the hospital!!!! Why don’t they get it? Why when I rant about people coming round when they’re poorly does everyone think I’m talking about everyone apart from them? It’s not like they tell me on the door either, no. they wait until they’ve been here for half an hour playing with Violet and all her toys, “oh we think ..x… has got a sore throat” I’m fucking sick of being told that they’re sorry. It’s really driving me bonkers! I really feel like I’m banging my head on a brick wall. Surely to F-ing god this isnt unreasonable of me to ask people to not bring their ill kids to my house?I mean this was why we stopped Violet being babysat, after the nits and the hideous tummy bug in a fortnight it just seemed more trouble than it was worth. I really don’t get why my family thought it would be better to still take V and look after her when they’re poorly and send her ill back to my house? I know they’re trying to help and I don’t want to be awfully ungrateful, I konw they are trying. But really in what exact way is that any help to me at all!? Why can’t anybody just offer to do my sodding hoovering that would’#ve been much more helpful!

And cos V is still ill I’ve had to pull out of her speech therapy tomorrow too, I don’t want her either passing it round everyone else, that doesn’t seem fair! And I don’t want her picking up something else while her immune system is low.

Just hope everyone else feels better soon and that I don’t catch it! I’m only able to visit Ivy for half an hour a day at the moment while M and V wait in the car, and then I’m tooscared to hold her just in case I’ve brought the vile bug in. It just fucking sucks. Stoopid people.

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

SPIDER!

August 18, 2009 Leave a comment

pixiejo · you!

Posted 18/8/09

hiya all,

i’ve just had all the night staff laughing at the speed i left my room, a f***-ing enormous huntsman spider just appeared and did a runner along the skirting! i swear i have not seen a spider that big outside a zoo! cos obviouslymy blood pressure was not high enough before. i’ve just had it retested at 150/96. fab.

ivy is doing ok, not much different. she is hating being touched or moved so we’re leaving her be as much as poss. can’t blame her for bein grumpy! she’s down 2 bein ventilated in just air and taking some breaths herself, and seems 2 finally be weeing, ah the stuff you celebrate huh?! she may have an infection but they’re hoping the antibiotics she’s already on will sort it, may just be a funny test result tho.

oh and another thing all yu 2nd timers  should know that no-one told me. i’ve been really worried as the bottom of my back has been really numb and my hips really sore, thought i’d overdone it or something, apparently it’s normal on ur 2nd baby. hormones moving it all back into place, even tho i’m this early! so be warned and don’t worry 🙂 oh and you still get after pains even after a section, they were fun, but not too awful once i knew what it was that hurt and why. thought i’d give a heads up to ya all tho!!!/

hope you’re all well xxxx

Jo x

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

*Pixiejo*

August 15, 2009 Leave a comment

Posted 15/8/09

Hi girls, Jo is being sectioned at 9am today. She’s been understandably upset overnight and the consultants offered to deliver her baby girl then but she’s held off to let the steroids take effect properly. She says that baby should weigh about 750g which is about 1.7lbs and that everything looks fine with bubs.

She thanks everyone for their kind thoughts and wants everyone to know that she really does appreciate it. She’s gutted about the fact that no matter how well things go this morning, she’ll still have to leave hospital without her baby again (like she had to with Violet).

Fingers crossed everything goes smoothly for her. (((hugs))) to Jo and her family! 

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

**Pixiejo**

August 14, 2009 Leave a comment

Posted 14/8/09

Hi girls, Jo, (pixiejo) has messaged me asking to update you all on her…. she has been in all night, has had a scan. Baby is measuring 25 weeks and Jo is 29 weeks just now. The blood flow is looking good so Jo has been told that they will section her tomorrow at the latest. She is absolutely gutted and is missing all the support from everyone on here…

Please join me in sending all your love and best wishes right now to Jo.

(((((Jo)))))

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(edited from original post to remove other peoples details)
originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

Off to day assessment, seems to be the day for it :(

August 13, 2009 Leave a comment

pixiejo · you!

Posted 13/8/09

Hey lovely ladies,

I know I’ve complained on here earlier about bump being quiet, I haven’t had any movement at all today and the magic glass of cold water has done nothing so I’m off to be strapped to a bed til they find out whats going on in there. Fingers crossed baby is just hiding from me or something, my it#’s easier to type positive than feel it huh?bleugh what a crap day.

Right must try and find a baby sitter can’t be monitored and chase Violet at the same time.

Jo x

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html