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Posts Tagged ‘lack of sleep’

the 5am wake up club

August 17, 2010 Leave a comment

it’s getting really old being up this early, but it’s better than the 3 am starts we had at grannys!

We decided that the holiday upheaval was a good time to move Ivy from our room into Violet’s, we knew it’d mean being up through the night, just hadn’t anticipated how much! It’s been 5 nights so far, and each night Violet has woken Ivy up repeatedly, I was so sure it’d be the other way round too. I’m not sure what is waking Violet up, perhaps having her door open, but she cries and moans until Ivy wakes and screams,  which makes Violet scream louder. Very dull. Violet then demands juice, and Ivy gets taken downstairs as the only way to resettle her at the moment is to give her milk or walk with her.

So nearly every night they’ve had us up around midnight for about an hour. Last night they were up around 1 and again at 5, and me and Ivy have been up since.

We’re not really sure what to do now though. There’s only so long we can endure not sleeping properly, at least if it’s only one of them awake then only one of us needs to be, whereas currently both of us are having to get up to deal with them. But what’s the answer? We could put Ivy back in with us, but that’s not a great long term plan. We’re going to try getting Violet to drag her lazy bum out of bed when she wakes up and come and get us; like normal 3 year olds do, instead of yelling from her bed. I’m not certain I want to encourage her to be up wandering about in the middle of the night, but I certainly don’t want to encourage her to be up shouting for attention at all hours.

I often find myself wishing that she could understand some of what we say, but the recurring glue ear has made her deaf for so long, she simply doesn’t get what we’re saying to her, and she can’t communicate back really either. It’s frustrating. And I’m utterly sick of folk saying that I don’t want her to talk really cos I wont be able to shut her up. Even those with babes have this romantic notion of having a child that is a baby for longer, that is dependant for longer, and it’s not nearly as sweet as they think. Cos when I ask for advice on this sort of thing they say, ah well you have to explain it to her….. How?

Categories: ivy, violet Tags: , , , ,

less sleep = less time

which is not how it’s supposed to work I’m sure!

Ivy has never been a great sleeper, even aside normal newborn baby antics she had reflux so bad she would often only sleep upright, but over the last couple of months she has decided that 5am is getting up time.  Regardless of what time she went to bed or whether she got up during the night at all.

I had initially thought that this could provide me with some golden mummy time, a little peace in the morning before everybody else gets up and the phone starts going. A little time to quietly surf the internet, maybe meditate or do some yoga, or catch up with some sewing, all while Ivy plays on the floor. But unfortunately I’m just too tired to concentrate on much more than checking facebook most mornings, and then the rest of the day is spent in a knackered haze of forgetting what I was intending to do.

I just don’t understand how I can be awake for so much of the day and yet still not have the time to do most of the things I want to do. No that’s not true, I’m not getting things done because I’m tired, because I’m up late in the evening and too early in the mornings with no let up all day. Simply I need to convince Ivy that 5am is not a good time to get up.

Categories: ivy, violet Tags: , ,

and the early morning call said

October 10, 2009 Leave a comment

10/10/2009·public·237 visits · notify me ?

she is grumpy! Hurrah!

Ivy woke at 1 and demanded to know why she had not been fed for 12 hours, she’s been sucking on her dummy clearly hoping that sucking harder will produce milk! (yeah I thought dummies were evil too, amazing how a screaming baby changes your mind no?!) She’s looking a lot pinker this morning, which is fab cos she had gone an awful funny colour by the time I left last night….

And when they did the standard Bristol call at 5am (!?!?!) to check for cot availability there was not a cot, but there may well be a cot later. So still potentially go for lift off; so they must be happier with Ivy than they were yesterday!!! She’s on all the antibiotics she was on last time, and also the antibiotics they use to treat NEC even though they’re fairly sure that’s not causing the problem. Which is good cos frankly NEC sounds nasty. I have learned my lesson about googling things, repeatedly unfortunately, but this is one of the more common nasties and so it’s covered in the premmie book I have.

I’m beginning to wonder whether Ivy has in fact read the premmie book too and is using it as some kind of check list ofthings to do before she leaves hospital…..well so long as she doesn’t try and find herself a twin at this point……

THank you all so much for your lovely comments, I really appreciate it! I am honoured, humbled and flattered you all take the time to read and comment. Bless ya all, you are lovely! yuor babys and bumps are very lucky to have mummmys like you guys xxxxx

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

Do I do anything but rant really?

October 7, 2009 Leave a comment

7/10/2009·public·184 visits · notify me ?

Hahaha! Well my hubby may be right all I do is rant, so please ladies excuse yet another rant taking up space on the right of your page! I rant in this journal too much I konw, but well, Violet doesn’t listen she just gets me to pretend to drink from her tea set, bless!!!

Anyway, Martin and Violet are ill again. As if I don’t spend enough of my time paranoid about getting poorly, now I’m living in a housefull of it! They have colds this time, and while I keep having paranoid flashes that my throat os sore or my nose is running I am actually fine so far. Drinkings lots of OJ and water and telling myself that I simply cannot get this frigging cold!

I am so mightily p*ssed off about it! My bro and family popped in to see us on their way back from holiday, see we’d given them the hol as a wedding present. We’d originally booked it for ourselves back before I knew I was pregnant and had been told by the midwife we’d not be able to go. They’d been skint when we got married in March and so had decided to buy us a week at the same place this time next year as a belated wedding gift, and they wanted to surprise us with the details. Bless them how sweet is that!!! So it may seem awfully surprising and ungrateful to start this with I’m so p*ssed off BUT…..their little girl had been as they put it ‘husky’ most of the week and they thought perhaps she may be coming down with a cold. And lo and behold here we all are 5 days later V and DH sniffling, coughing and snotting everywhere and so are they!

Yeah colds happen, I know we can’t lock ourselves away for the next year. BUT Why don’t they understand, even after Ivy’s last infection and how I ranted about it, that what is ‘just a cold’ for most folk, is a nightmare for us as we’re all stressed, not sleeping or eating properly and means we can’t visit are much poorlier little chick?!? And that most importantly it could be utterly catastrophic if we accidentally did take it into the hospital!!!! Why don’t they get it? Why when I rant about people coming round when they’re poorly does everyone think I’m talking about everyone apart from them? It’s not like they tell me on the door either, no. they wait until they’ve been here for half an hour playing with Violet and all her toys, “oh we think ..x… has got a sore throat” I’m fucking sick of being told that they’re sorry. It’s really driving me bonkers! I really feel like I’m banging my head on a brick wall. Surely to F-ing god this isnt unreasonable of me to ask people to not bring their ill kids to my house?I mean this was why we stopped Violet being babysat, after the nits and the hideous tummy bug in a fortnight it just seemed more trouble than it was worth. I really don’t get why my family thought it would be better to still take V and look after her when they’re poorly and send her ill back to my house? I know they’re trying to help and I don’t want to be awfully ungrateful, I konw they are trying. But really in what exact way is that any help to me at all!? Why can’t anybody just offer to do my sodding hoovering that would’#ve been much more helpful!

And cos V is still ill I’ve had to pull out of her speech therapy tomorrow too, I don’t want her either passing it round everyone else, that doesn’t seem fair! And I don’t want her picking up something else while her immune system is low.

Just hope everyone else feels better soon and that I don’t catch it! I’m only able to visit Ivy for half an hour a day at the moment while M and V wait in the car, and then I’m tooscared to hold her just in case I’ve brought the vile bug in. It just fucking sucks. Stoopid people.

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

anyone have any PMA I can steal?

September 17, 2009 Leave a comment

pixiejo · you!

Posted 17/9/09

Hi ladies, hope yuo’re all cooking well! Can’t believe I’d be 34 weeks today, not long for you all now huh?

Thanks so much to yuo lovely ladies reading and replying to my journal, I’m sorry I seem to have no time to reply at the moment, but I do read them all and I appreciate yuor advice and stuff! I would journal this too but somehow I don’t want the world to know. Not really sure why, but there we go!

My Ivy is poorly, I’m try hard to keep my chin up but it’s really tough. She got moved back to intensive care on monday and was found to have an infection on tues 😦 She’s gone all quiet and is off her milk and solidly back on her cpap so not breathing by herself at all at the moment. She had a blood transfusion last night too. They tried to do a lumbar puncture overnight but only got blood, currently her platelets are low so she needs to have a transfusion of them before they want try a LP again – so they can rule out meningitis officially. They ultrasounded her head and not found anything so they think most likely an infection in her gut or in her blood. X-rays of her chest are clear at least, they think her chest and heart are fine so that’s something. She’s on lots of antibiotics and antifungals at the moment, the nurse likens them to domestos – kills all know germs dead – fingers crossed she’s right eh?!

So if it’s not too greedy of me I could really do with a big BC hug and some PMA for Ivy if you have any spare. Thanks so much girls. Hope yuo’re all well, I’ll update you all hopefully with better news when I get some x

Jo x

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

steps forward, steps back

September 15, 2009 Leave a comment

15/09/2009·public·193 visits · notify me ?

So while we had been awway from the hospital Ivy had done really well with her feeding, gradually making it up to 5 and a half mils of milk an hour and cycling 2 hours on CPAP 4 hours breathing by herself. She was doing so well that when we saw her on Saturday she had had all of her lines out as she was fully milk fed!

Yesterday (Monday) Ivy was supposed to go for her Hida test to check her gall bladder function, seems Ivy had other ideas though.First thing in the morning her tummy gets all blown up again, so distended the skin was shiny like it was for about a week after she was born. This swelling pushes up onto her lungs too making it much harder for her to breathe, so when they come to pop her in the travel incubator for the big journey across the hospital she had a big desat & brady episode. So in the end they decided to leave her on the unit and reschedule for when she;s more stable. And while they were waiting for her to become more stable she had to return back into the intensive care unit for more careful monitoring. Back onto Nil-By-Mouth and drip feeding. Back off the King’s regime thingy. Back out of the clothes she’d only just made it into. And back beside the family that take up all the space. 😦

I managed to spend most of the afternoon with her today and was there when the doctors decided that she can gradually start having milk again which was much more positive, but nobody knows for sure why her belly keeps blowing up. Her x-rays and barium scan pics have been studied by the surgical team at Bristol Children’s hospital (it was them that decided she could eat again) and they’re happy there’s no obstruction and doesn’t need surgery, but it seems she still has quite a bit of meconium stuck up there, despite many stinky nappies now. They don’t know whether her jaundice is linked to the belly blowing up problem, that maybe if she starts having milk all the time and it all gets to function properly it could all resolve itself. But they have to firstly check that it isn’t any one of a number of other things, she’s on 3 lots of anitbiotics even though her blood tests have come back clean for infection. I guess I’m glad they’re being cautious to be on the safe side.

Just feel really bleh and numb about the whole thing, I’m trying to be jollier about it, now she’s more settled and stable again, but don’t seem able to properly pick myself back up. I dreamt she had died and no one was listening to me which was a bit harsh, can’t seem to quite shake that feeling now. Just really bloody tired.Anyway the lovely tesco man brings my shopping hurrah!

Hope you lovely ladies are having better days than me xxxx

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html

Jojo stuck at home and sulking

September 10, 2009 Leave a comment

10/09/2009·public·250 visits · notify me ?

Sulking muchly!

When Violet was ill at the beginning of the week we thought it was something she ate, especially cos it came on suddenly. Seems we were wrong, both me and hubby spent yesterday sleeping in shifts, to watch Violet, feeling like death warmed up; or totally overheated in my case. I have not felt that bad since recovering from alcohol posioning when I was 17, just grateful it passed quickly! All back to vague tired normality today thankfully! Nits last week, bugs this week, I’m beginning to think getting Violet babysat is more trouble than it’s worth.

So obviously we didn’t go to the hospital yesterday, and we can’t go now for at least another 48 hours til we know the bug has cleared from everybody; so at best saturday night, but more likely Sunday 😦 Poor little Ivy wont have any visitors til Sunday!!!

Ivy’s being kept busy though, she has her eye test today; apparently some very prem babies eyes don’t develop properly, the retinas don’t attach, so they’re checking hers in an hour. Yesterday she had another x-ray on her tummy, she’s still not pooing without suppositries (lovely!) so they had to check that there’s no blockages or swollen bits. The Barium that they put up to get the xray done seems to have solved the problem entirely, I’m glad I missed that nappy, especially in the state we were in! And on monday she’s having a hida scan, as she has prolonged conjugated jaundice. So they’re giving her phenobarbitol from yesterday, apparently this will make all the bilirubin stuff gather in her gall bladder, or maybe her liver, and then when they put the dye in and take all the pics on monday they’ll be able to see whether everything is draining through the gall bladder and liver as it should do. It wasn’t til I got home that I realised phenobarbitol is a sedative (duh) so she probably wont notice that we’re not there at least…..poor tiny one.

Oh and when I saw her last she was having 1 mil of milk an hour; today she’s up to 3 and a half mils an hour!

pixiejo · you!
Updated 11/09/2009

Aw thanks for all your hugs ladies! We’re all much better and have been yesterday so fingers and toes crossed we’ll get to go and visit tomorrow!

Ivy is doing superbly on her milk, when I rang in the evening for an update she’d gone up to 4.5mil an hour, if she continues to tolerate that then her long line will come out as she wont need the I.V. nutrition (TPN)!!! She’s managed to drop that to a mil an hour from 4.6 which is awesome! I believe she’s off the lipid already too. It’d be really lovely to see her without a line in each arm/leg, and the long line looks particularly uncomfy cos it goes in the top of her arm poor little chick!

She’s back to doing well with her breathing, we think she took exception to being moved as she had a couple of days of desats and braddies which are just hideous to see, and had to have a whole day on cpap. Back up to 2 hours on 4 hours off at the moment!

Hope yuo lovely ladies are all well xxx

Jo x

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to www.handprints.org.uk/pixiejos-previous-blogs.html