Posts Tagged ‘hospital’

a bit bloody complicated for me!

October 12, 2010 1 comment

I think I am doing really rather well today, I think.

Generally speaking I would rather pull out clumps of my own hair than phone anyone, especially anyone official. I do not know what terrible things I think will happen if I dare pick the phone up, but terrible things will occur! I have phoned the tax office, the hospital, my health visitor, a friend, and it’s only 3pm!

Similarly I will avoid baby groups and suchlike for fear of um… well for fear of other parents I suppose. Confession time – Ivy has *never* been to the local clinic, our health visitor has always come here as she was a premmie or she’s been weighed at the hospital. So today I have managed to get my sorry backside to the weighing clinic to find out how tubby Ivy now is, only to find I was the only parent there anyway. All that worry for nothing! I feel strangely let down. On the upside this means I got to speak to our health visitor about getting Violet’s statement in place for school, and now suddenly, she’s sorting the whole thing! Wasn’t what I intended when I went in, but hooray!!! As it turns out most of the phone calls I made today were related to this statementing, and all of them have required a referral from our health visitor anyway, so pretty much the whole sorting-out-school thing has been taken out of my hands. Superb!

And further to this I have also sorted a meeting with Violet’s nursery school’s SENCO too, so we can discuss her needs and set targets. Apparently. I am now going to survey special needs teachers I know to see if they can translate these things for me. I feel I am doing a lot of parroting and not a lot of understanding.

But for the moment, tea and biscuits are on the agenda.


to counsel

August 25, 2010 Leave a comment

so after my inital drs appointment in April I have finally started my cognitive behavioural therapy, so far I have had 2 assessment sessions which have been more difficult than i had imagined and unsurprisingly been diagnosed with general anxiety. So now to make it go away!

I have had homework from both sessions, firstly I had to create a list of 10 goals, which I probably should’ve made note of….. they included losing weight, playing with the kids more, driving, going to mum and toddler groups, making something ‘not be my job’, making time to bath, and the others may come back to me at some point…..finish making things was in there too I think…..

So this week I’ve to start on my list a bit, so I have had a look to see what children’s centres are local, and I’ve emailed the contact for more info on what may be available. I know that sounds really silly, only an email…but I like to read over things in case I’m making a tit of myself, and I can retype emails and texts many times before sending them. And it’s for this reason I don’t phone where I can avoid it, I can’t unsay what has been said. So today I sent an email with only hitting spellcheck, I didn’t read it at all!

My other homework is to keep a worry diary, 3 times a day I have to stop what I’m doing and write what is worrying me at that moment. I guess time will tell as to whether I worry far too much, or just simply too much…..

We also had a hospital appointment, typically for us our appointment was yesterday, the day the prime minister’s wife gave birth early at our hospital. Luckily parking wasn’t as bad as we’d feared it could be, but the entrance was swarming with journalists, Ivy and I were on live tv at least 3 times. They don’t want to see her for another 6 months which is awesome! She’s doing really well, started crawling yesterday too!

And possibly best of all, I faced a proper big demon and visited the NNU while we were there, I wanted to pass on another thank you card now Ivy’s a year old, saw a couple of the nurses that had looked after Ivy, including the nurse who was there when she was delivered which was really special. Proper awesome to see Judith, she had looked after Violet too when she was tiny, but she breathed for Ivy with her bag until she could be attached to the ventilator, and was also the nurse to give us our first cuddle when she was just over a week old. Good stuff.

And well I’m reiterating my promise to myself to blog, to set aside that few moments for me every day, or ever few days to type. Here’s hoping eh?!

climbing mountains for babies

well not quite literally!

Today we went to visit my new gorgeous niece and her lovely mummy in the postnatal ward. While obviously I was desperate to get to congratulate my sister in law and meet her new babe the thought of being back on that ward made me feel sick. The whole caboodle, parking in that carpark, going up in that lift, waiting in that waiting room, so many memories and many of them aren’t great, but to meet the gorgeous baby certainly a personal mountain worth climbing!

And as with all these things the anticipation was so much worse than the fact. After all the waiting room has all been rearranged and redecorated in the last 6 months, and they were in a totally different room, so much has moved on and changed.

So lovely to have the opportunity to visit the ward, to be there with both my babies and to leave with them both, something I never got the opportunity to do. And fabulous to visit such a gorgeous wee bundle of scrunched features and beautifulness, and a glowing new mum now of 2. Seeing my little brother all proud with his gorgeous new daughter, a doting dad just watching her little face. If I could frame a moment…..It was lovely.

A little victory for me, doing something so ordinary to everyone else. A few more demons slayed and raspberried at.

Welcome to the world Mazey!!

Categories: family Tags: , , , , ,

first time at the hospital in a whole month!

Which is something of an event in itself, it’s the longest period of time I’ve spent away from Royal Cornwall in at least 8 months!
Today Ivy had her physio appointment, just another follow up, all to do with spending so much time flat on her back in an incubator. Most incubator bound babies get positioned in various weird and wonderful ways at the request of the physios in order to make sure the muscles develop similarly to how they would in the womb, but as Ivy had so many tummy troubles she spent most of her time flat on her back so they could monitor her. Normally she would have spent time on her belly, and time on each side. As a result of this the muscle between her shoulder blades is shorter than it should be, so she brings her hands up to her face upside down, if that makes sense, and doesn’t push off the ground with her hands when on her tummy. Instead she adopts what I think of as a dolphin pose with her arms by her sides raised towards her back. So we have to see a physio now, so as not to cause her problems later on with crawling, and using her hands generally.
It went well, but there are loads of exercises and postions and things we have to do and trying to remember them all is hard! I’ve scribbled them all down and pinned them to a cupboard in the kitchen in the hope we remember.

She’ll be 200 days old tomorrow which is fairly terrifying in itself, I know there seems to be another significant milestone every other week at this age, but each one amazes me! And makes me feel old…..
Anyway I guess while the girls are giving me some peace (which I’m sure is merely temporary) I should be listing more stuff for ebay or creating more things to sell, or maybe trying to find the kitchen under all the mess. But procrastinating is much more fun no?!

cross posted to

would anyone be surprised if I said we’re *still* here?

October 19, 2009 Leave a comment

19/10/2009public171 visits notify me ?

we are. we have not moved anywhere at all yet. 12 days of being packed and ready to drop everything and go. Suppose I can’t really get much sympathy from a load of pregnant women approaching their due dates though haha!!! Well at least one aspect of the last bit of my pregnancy I’m still getting to experience, fabulous.I did ask the nurses what happens next, what happens if a cot doesn’t become available but they were suitably vague, said they’d just keep phoning every day. I’m trying not to worry about it, they seem confident that a cot will appear, but I’m starting to doubt it a little. One must come available at some point I suppose, bah. Trying not to worry about how the wait will affect Ivy, they don’t want to start feeds until her belly has been sorted really, and my poor little chick seems so hungry. Bless her poor poppet! But with each passing day that she’s not being treated, her going home date is going back, yeah I know we don’t have a ‘going home’ date as such, but it’s still going to delay things. So much for aiming for her due date, it seems really unlikely we’ll be home by the 28th its less than 10 days! Boo.

Ivy is still in ICU, though she has ditched her antibiotics now! Hooray! infection 2 cleared, well done poppet! Not really much to say further than that.

Just this interminable bloody waiting! Starting to send me bonkers I think.

Updated 19/10/2009

Aw bless you Karen!!!

Yeah I must admit to being a teency bit jealous of all those lovely ladies getting to take their babies home when 9 and a half weeks in I still have to ask permission to get a cuddle and don’t get to every day 馃槮 Aaah our times will come!!! Waiting sucks!

Jo x

Updated 19/10/2009

So much waiting with these babies!!! Hope the next couple of weeks goes quickly for you Antonella!

Until the babies and the cuddles come, chocolate, lots and lots of chocolate!! No point dieting before Xmas after all!! 馃檪

Jo x

Updated 21 hours ago

Heard today they’re going to start giving Ivy 0.5mil of milk every 6 hours; more of a tease than food really, bless her! But it’s a start at least 馃檪

Antonella, there are crisps if you prefer! 馃槈 hee!

Jo, you’re right it is a long time, haven’t been able to do a proper shop for a fortnight just in case – amazing how buying little bits to last a couple of days costs so much more! I was thinking of just going to Bristol and plonking my big, fat, post pregnancy bottom down the moment anyone moves an inch to bagsy the space for Ivy. But I know that really all the cots are being taken by babies with more urgent problems and I’d feel awful for them if I did that! So indeed fingers crossed for a quick recovery for some gorgeous little mite to go home with their mum!!! 馃榾

Hope you’re all well lovelies xxxx

Jo x

2 months old!

October 15, 2009 Leave a comment

15/10/2009public194 visits notify me ?

Ivy is 2 whole months old today! She’s been weighed and has reached a grand 2lb 13! So officially more than violet did when she was born, which is sort of a milestone in itself 馃檪 and considering she’s been nil by mouth for a week, and while back on tpn no fats with it cos of all the antibiotics and blood products! Her infection markers have come all the way down to 7 so nearly clear of this bug and all ready for her travels. There was briefly a cot yesterday, but it got filled quickly. So they’re still phoning every few hours. I suppose i’ve spent most of the year expecting to spend october poised and ready to get to hospital quickly, with bags packed and babysitters on stand-by. So I shouldn’t complain too much, we’ve been assured they wont keep us in bristol long as the demand for cots is so high. Fingers crossed! Anyway I hope all you lovely ladies are keeping well! Thanks for all your lovely comments to my previous journals, wish I had more time to reply to you all, y’all rock! Xxx

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to

See previous titles

October 14, 2009 Leave a comment

14/10/2009public133 visits notify me ?

Yup we’re still in sunny Cornwall, for the time being.So thought I’d pop up here and say hi!

After all I was saying about giving blood the other day; I had blood taken yesterday by one of the neonatal drs, they did it with a butterfly thing instead of the usual vacuum things the midwives use. Sorry that’s less than clear huh? And for the first time ever I came over all wooshy as it was being done! I’ve never fainted or anything when having blood taken before, even after Violet was born when they took my blood every few hours cos of the pre-eclampsia!! Nuts! Maybe it was the watching it go down the tube…who knows!

Things are tootling along here, still not sure what’s happening re: Bristol. Ivy’s infection markers have come down, everything else seems stable, we got to have a cuddle last night too! They’ve had to put another long line in, poor chick, they had such trouble getting one in her arm, and she had cannulas in both legs at the time, so sh’es had to have it through a vein in her scalp. It sounds much worse than it is to be honest! At least in her scalp she can still swing her arms about, which she seems to enjoy, and she can’t pull on it, which has to be uncomfortable. And if the infection passes, which it looks like it is, then she can go back onto milk and it can come out again.

It’s been a tough week, hopefully we’re past the worst now. Glad that today, so far, there’s not been any phone calls. Of course it’s lovely that our families take an interest in it all, bless them. I try and keep them updated by text and, sadly, by facebook *ahem* and naturally if there was any important news I’d phone them all. But they all phone, inevitably all on the same day, and it’s tiring. I feel like I need to adjust everything I say according to how they’re taking it; when I said to my dad’s wife today that we’re still here, she started gushing about how wonderful news that was, hooray how fabulous, etc. It thoroughly confused me, I don’t know if she picked me up wrong, we are still going to Bristol, just not today….. And when I told gran that Ivy had another infection the other day she came rushing over and hovered at me. It’s tough, I don’t want to worry family unnecessarily, but I don’t want them thinking everything is just shiny either! When Violet was in hospital it was easier to let everyone believe everything was dandy, and largely everything was mainly ok, but I feel I need them to be aware of how much more delicate Ivy is. Even if just to stop them asking me when she’s coming home, which I imagine is as annoying as the questions all you pregnant ladies get ‘when is that baby coming?’ ‘haven’t you had that baby yet?’ I remember my mum getting really annoyed and telling people that in fact yes, the baby was here and she was pregnant again already. And offering people photos to save them staring…..Anyway, doesn’t really work for me. Must think of something witty.

Also I don’t want them thinking all is well cos they keep buying Ivy things, and I find it really hard to take. I’m still scared she’s not here to stay, I can’t imagine bringing her home, every time I start enjoying her something knocks us back. I have a few photos about but everything else gets put away, I don’t want to see these reminders everywhere that my baby isnt with me, even when it’s going well really. It’s lovely that they’re excited about having a new addition to the family, but in many ways I’m trying to treat it like I’m still pregnant, but the fact that she’s not home doesn’t have any impact on them, we have to live in it. I wish they’d give us the space to come to them to tell them things rather than phoning demanding all the time, I don’t have the energy for it. And the recurrence of PMT and the witch does not help any!

Wow that all turned out to be much more miserable than I had intended! Sorry! Ark at me all maudlin, when today actually things are going well. Meh. Must tidy the kitchen and phone up to see how my little chick is getting on, hooray! 馃榾

Updated 14/10/2009

Bless you lovely! I should really only post journals after I’ve visited Ivy, when my sun is shining 馃榾 ((((big hugs)))) Thanks for your lovely message chick!

There’s also an element of excitement to the not being able to imagine her coming home though, if that makes any sense?! I know her coming home is going to change everything about all of our lives unrecognisably and I just can’t imagine it, but I am looking forward to finding out. 馃檪 And yeah in my more maudlin moments like earlier, I can’t imagine her coming home and I don’t want to try and picture it just in case she doesn’t. But I try not to think about it too much, to be honest I couldn’t picture Violet coming home either, and she’s been here for 2 years and now I can’t imagine there ever being a time when she was not here!!

Sometimes it is easier to give people the answer they want to hear when they ask how things are isnt it?! Bless you you’ve not had an easy pregnancy, I’m sure you must be sick to the back teeth of people saying stupid things like ‘oh you’ll be blooming soon’聽 so I’ll refrain 馃檪 Take care lovely xxxx

Jo x

originally posted on babycentre community board; x-posted to