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National Baby Loss Awareness Week

October 11, 2010 Leave a comment

 I wanted to take a moment to remember all the wonderful mums I met both online and in real life in hospital who carry their babies in their hearts and their memories and not in their arms; whose babies will remain as gorgeous little bundles forever.

Thinking of you especially this week, and hoping that we can raise awareness so families whose babies grow wings too quickly can receive the support and understanding they need.

Much love to you all

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Categories: Uncategorized

National Baby Loss Awareness Week

October 11, 2010 Leave a comment

I wanted to take a moment to remember all the wonderful mums I met both online and in real life in hospital who carry their babies in their hearts and their memories and not in their arms; whose babies will remain as gorgeous little bundles forever.

Thinking of you especially this week, and hoping that we can raise awareness so families whose babies grow wings too quickly can receive the support and understanding they need.

Much love to you all

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and she’s gone

September 24, 2010 Leave a comment

just still can’t believe it.

There’s a box of Earl Grey that won’t get drunk. A space on our sofa that wont be filled. A vacancy at every family gathering.

And I know that this is the end of her suffering, and that she had already defied her doctors by living longer than they had predicted, and crammed much more into her short life than many do in 50 years, but inside I am railing against it. I did not want to sleep last night so I could still be in the same day that she was, so I didn’t have to start the first full 24 hours without her in them too.

It seems so wrong that the world keeps turning, that everyone else is carrying on like nothing has happened.

Categories: Uncategorized

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neighbours suck

July 3, 2010 1 comment

oh for a detached house. Or at least not to be living next to teenagers, yes they may also be parents, yes they may also hold down jobs, but these things do not stop them being a complete pain in the arse.

We live in a cul-de-sac of mainly rented houses, in fact many of them appear to be owned by our landlady, our house in particular is semi-detached. We are on our 10th set of neighbours since we moved in 3 1/2 years ago.  Most of them have been lovely, like us young families trying to make ends meet. Many have moved to bigger places, or back in with their extended families due to lack of cash, some have split and gone their separate ways. Most have been friendly and chatty, even the drug dealers were quite nice.

This couple are a nightmare. Within the fortnight they moved in they rowed badly in the evening, and went out. We thought that’d be the end of it, but unfortunately not. We were woken by incessant banging at 3am, thought perhaps someone was trying to get into our house, but it was them. I had come racing down the stairs and fallen breaking the bannister as I fell. We knocked the wall and then the rowing resumed, screaming and shouting. In the end we phoned the police when the girl started screaming ‘get off me, get off me’ By this point it was nearly 5 and both my kids had been woken by it. We had to phone our landlord, to fix the bannister, and of course the story of how it came to be broken was complaint enough.

Since then they have never spoken to us, they have turned away when we’ve said hello over the back garden wall. They’ve crossed the street rather than have to cross our paths. And once a fortnight they party, once a fortnight at7 the boom boom boom of the bad dance music begins, the girls all go out in skirts that barely deserve the name and the boys go into the street playing football. This evening they hit our door so loud I went out, it sounded like someone had run into it, it was the first time any of them have ever spoken to me.  At least for once I got an apology.

These parties continue all night long, and more often than not they aren’t particularly loud, well, after about midnight they quieten.  But they often stay up all night long chatting. Having 2 insomniac kids means I know all about how long folk round here are up and who works early. What a fun life.

Seriously though, they are probably a very nice couple. If it is possible to judge on looks, they look nice. But after getting off on the wrong foot, and them resisting any attempt we’ve made to be friendly all these little things become very annoying. I understand that it is unrealistic to expect them to warn us of their parties, however much we used to warn our friends neighbours, and/or invite them along.

Perhaps if their taste in music was better it wouldn’t bother me half as much.

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new bags and stuff

found this on the internet free bags made from recycled plastic. Lots of pretty colours too.

Lots to type and no time.

Categories: Uncategorized

is it possible?

a slightly more productive post, now I’ve had my rant, to move on!!!

I’ve been reading and researching a lot recently about trying to be more environmentally aware and find myself left with a series of dilemmas. For example, I’d very much like to have less plastic around the house, aside from the mountain of placcy goods I’ve recently bought for my daughters 3rd birthday eeek!, I’d really like to reduce the amount of plastic I use that will eventually end up sitting in landfill or adding to the immense plastic raft in the pacific.  But what are the other options?? Leather, wood and fabric I suppose; so the questions now are finding things that are sustainably created, killed in humane ways, fairly traded, possibly organic and don’t have an immense carbon footprint from travelling half way round the world to get to me. So many things to think about and an almost impossible task to research. And how much time do I want to take away from my kids to source such things?? AND even if I can find stuff that fulfills most of this criteria it’sll probably come wrapped in bloody plastic anyway. Gah.

And what about sterilising equipment? I have a lactose intolerant baby so breast milk is a no go, it created fountains of vomit. So what is better? Her immune system is not what it could be being born so early and only getting the first few weeks of breast milk, so stuff HAS to be sterilised, but is my big plastic steam steriliser the best way? I really don’t know. I thought that the chemicals used in tablet/ cold water sterilisation probably wouldn’t do the water table much good, but tbh I don’t know if that’s better or worse than the effect of the electricity and plastic that will eventually end up in landfill….I have found out recently that I can boil things on the hob in a steel pan, but the boiling takes longer, it uses more water and I can’t do all 5 bottles at once. And microwaves are bad aren’t they?/ I have this conception that they are, but now I come to think of it I don’t know why?  So while I know the most environmentally friendly way is simply not to do it, I wish there was somewhere I could assess which the least detrimental way of doing it was. And I feel the same for so many things, sometimes it’s not about finding a completely hippy alternative, but about finding one that is just a bit better than what I’m doing now.

Too many things to think about and stuff still has to be bought and used; and my charity shop/freecycle luck isn’t what it was when I was a teenager, or perhaps I simply have more demands now?? Meh, will keep trying, I guess that in itself is the most important thing.